Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

“When will you understand that being normal isn’t necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.”

The movie? Practical Magic.The year? 1998. The ratings? Not good. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about.

     What I’m really interested in on this particular day are those strange people you see all over the world. Maybe they’re at the mall, maybe at school, maybe at church, or maybe even the park.

A story for example:
     This lady in my ward at church has a brain tumor—and it’s pretty bad. So bad that she has lost her sight and she can no longer lift things or drive. Sad, I know. But this lady is probably one of the nicest people I've ever met. So I babysit for her while she goes to doctor's appointments, and basically whenever she needs someone to help out. This past Saturday, the day before Mother's Day, I babysat for her children in the afternoon. It was the perfect kind of day. Low to mid-seventies, and after watching the children like a prison guard watches prisoners without chains on for about four hours, I decided that we all needed a trip to the park for a cool down.

     This year is my last year at home for Mother's Day-- I'll be going away to college in the fall. And so I wanted to go out with a bang. So between the presents, a scarf and a necklace, I bought for my mom, and the breakfast-in-bed ordeal I was planning, complete with a Raspberry-Citrus Slushie that was to die for, Mother's Day was on my mind. Each picture the children colored was for their mother's special day.

     But I was still feeling disappointed with my efforts. All of the pictures were abstract, and no one wanted me to write, "I love you, Mommy" at the top. But I figured, at least we've done something.

     So up at the park, all the swings are taken. One in particular is occupied by a fourteen-year-old boy who looks far too big for it. He eventually got off but when you babysit, you tend to watch people closely--even if they are fourteen. This boy was talking to all the adults at the park and the children. He was obviously harmless, but he was a little weird. And yes, in my prejudiced mind I was thinking, "Okay, steer clear of this one."

     Then all of a sudden I look over and this boy has pulled out a balloon animal kit, and is making balloon animals up the wazoo! He quickly stopped and switched to Mother's Day flowers such as these:

      The best part was he was giving them out for free--as a promo for his business! Although the children wanted to go home and go inside, I made them all wait in line for flowers for their mother. It was like a cherry on a sundae to their Mother's Day presents.   

      The best part was he was giving them out for free--as a promo for his business! Although the children wanted to go home and go inside, I made them all wait in line for flowers for their mother. It was like a cherry on a sundae to their Mother's Day presents.   

      As we were leaving the park, this boy gave me his business card and told me to call him anytime I was having a party and needed balloon animals. I mean, I'm eighteen so I don't think I'll be needing too many balloon animals made for me in the near future. :) But if you'd like his information for your next party, you can email me and I'll send it to you.

     Once again, appearances were proven wrong today, and an odd, but obviously kind and talented boy presented me with three balloon animal flowers for Mother's Day. I'm fairly certain I got a bigger kick out of this than the children. One popped before we even got home, and no one was too disappointed. But what can I say? I'm a sucker for stupid, sentimental gifts.

When Hugs Become Awkward

Awkward hugs; we’ve all experienced them at one point or another. These hugs may be unwanted, misplaced, or even stiff yet; they may end up bringing people closer than one might have thought.

I, for one, have had my fair share of awkwardness and have noticed that many of my awkward hug experiences tend to occur at school. Why you may ask? Well, I have thought long and hard about this and have come to three plausible reasons why school is the root cause of awkward hugs.

For one, there is this thing students’ carry on their backs as they go from class to class. I believe it is commonly referred to as a backpack. As students walk down the halls, they spot their friends and walk toward each other. Now, none of this is awkward until…they go in for the hug itself. The two friends, usually a girl and a girl or a boy and a girl, open their arms wide, approach each other until they reach their intended distance, and finally wrap their hands around the other’s…backpack? The backpack causes for uncertainty because huggers are no longer hugging the person, but their backpack. The hug is no longer an intimate sign of appreciation or thanks, but becomes a symbol to students everywhere of what to avoid. When the hug is over, I have noticed that the two people do one of two things. They either look shyly away from each other, hoping to erase the moment from their memories or they look straight into each other’s eyes and burst out laughing. This second action is a healthy sign for the participants because they have demonstrated to others that awkward moments can lighten the atmosphere and be forgotten with a good-hearted laugh and a genuine smile.

The second type of uncomfortable hug is the uneven hug. This occurs when people are different heights, one being extremely tall and the other being exceptionally short. When the two huggers approach each another, the awkwardness begins. For the time being, the tall person will be the guy and the short person will be the girl. If the roles are reversed, the situation may become more awkward for obvious reasons. Now, the tall person debates if he should bend down to hug the other. If he chooses to bend down too late, their arms might become twisted and oddly intertwined. However, if he chooses to stand at normal height, he may find himself patting the person’s head or hugging her with one arm to avoid making the height different more noticeable. The shorter person finds this situation awkward because she cannot reach the shoulders of the other. So, she becomes stuck hugging his waist and may start to feel crushed and a tad big claustrophobic. If, for some reason, the male has chosen to disregard the shower beforehand, the girl may become disgusted and may choose to avoid him at future encounters at school.  While this situation does not occur very often, when it does, the only thing to do is hope that the huggers smell clean and that the decision to bend down has been made in advance. With such measures, the moment should hopefully be awkward-free, allowing others to be optimistic about height differences and hugs.

The third and final awkward hug is the all-too-detested hug from behind. This occurs when a friend (let’s call him Bob) approaches another friend (let’s call her Sally) from behind. As Bob sees Sally, he realizes that her back is facing him and he will be unable to hug her from the normal position because she is surrounded by a group of her friends. Bob’s conclusion: it is necessary for me to give Sally a hug, so I might as well do it from behind. If Bob’s conclusion sounds like something you would do, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE refrain from acting upon it! Hugs from behind are awkward for both parties involved. If Bob decides to act on his impulse, Sally will feel uncomfortable because, for one, she did not even see the hug coming. How would you feel if all of a sudden you see two arms grabbing you from behind? Weird? Embarrassed?  If you answered yes to both, then good for you because that is exactly how Sally feels. Sally also feels odd in this situation because she doesn’t know if she should turn around and face Bob in order to return the hug. If she doesn’t turn around, she will be hugging him like she is tied to a pole, but if she does turn around, what will he do with his hands? If Sally rotates, Bob will have to disengage in the hug, only to re-engage two seconds later. This causes the timing of the hug to be off, making the two participants unsure of when to stop their hugging. While the back-hug is occurring, Bob may finally realize that his decision to hug Sally was not one of his finest moments. But it will be too late; he has already engaged in the hug. Bob must continue his back hug with Sally and they must face the awkwardness together.

While the first two hugs can be performed correctly if the participants fully understand the situation, the hug from behind can and will never be executed properly because it is just too awkward. Therefore, in order to avoid the most awkward hug of all hugs, please refrain from participating in this type of embrace, it just might save your reputation.

For my next blog, I will discuss handshakes.

If you want to see more awkward hugs visit:http://theoatmeal.com/comics/hugs

or you can email me at: nicole.lipka

A Serious Addiction

“Hi my name is Jessica and I’m addicted to television.” “Hi Jessica!”

Sorry, I couldn’t help but start this blog off humorously. Truthfully, I’m being completely serious, and this is a very real thing to me.

 What is the definition of addiction? According to dictionary.com, an addiction is “the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma”. Many people wouldn’t normally consider television to be an addiction, but in my mind there’s no doubt about it.

 Let me break this definition down piece by piece and apply it to television. It says “being enslaved to…something that is psychologically or physically habit forming”. A lot of people can sympathize with being a slave to the television (Not necessarily you. If that’s so, you should be grateful.), and know how hard of a habit it can be to break. In this age of multitasking I don’t feel comfortable just sitting down and eating a meal or snack, or doing something on the computer, I feel like I need to turn the TV on to keep my mind busy.

 The part of TV being an addiction that most people argue with is not that is can be psychologically habit forming, but that it can be physically habit forming as well. Now I’m not an expert, but I’ve read in a few places that when you watch TV, your nervous system slows down and your brain waves change. To me, these effects sound similar to those of depressant substances, and could cause a physical dependence on watching TV.

 The part of the definition of an addiction that I think doesn’t fit television is that “its cessation causes severe trauma”. While I do think you can start to crave TV and its calming effects, I don’t think that there is more than a psychological withdrawal when you decide to stop watching.

 It is hard to stop though. The TV sucks up such an enormous amount of your day that when you decide to turn it off, it can feel like there’s nothing else to do to fill your time. This problem is addressed in the blog Escape Your Television, where a guy writes about getting “sober” and turning off his TV.

 If you’ve ever struggled with this, or have any tips for me, feel free to email me.

-Jessica

Things to Do in Washington D.C.

When in Washington D.C., do as the natives do. I’ve lived in the suburbs of D.C. my entire life, so I’m pretty familiar with the in’s and out’s out our nation’s capital.

            If you’re going to make the trek to Washington D.C. there are some major things to make sure you see and do.

1.      Cherry Blossom Festival: The festival is not just for tree huggers of the world. I love the festival! If you’re going to go, make sure you bring your camera and some money for the metro and lunch. You won’t want to miss out on getting your picture taken with the blossoms or the water in the background. If you position the camera just right, you can even get the Lincoln Memorial in the background. If you’re an animal lover or dog owner, the event is very pet friendly. Tons of people leash up their canines and take them downtown for a beautiful picnic. Another thing, don’t bother with buying lunch at a restaurant unless you want some really high end dining, instead pack some food in a cooler and enjoy a picnic in between the trees. Guys, this is an awesome and cheap date that your girl is sure to love!

2.      National Yoga Day at the Washington Memorial: If you’re big into yoga, or if you just want to learn some new positions, definitely attend the Yoga Day at the Washington Monument. My boyfriend and I were going to the Cherry Blossom Festival and stumbled upon masses of people that we assumed to be going to see the trees, but instead they set up camp all over the Washington Monument. It is one of the largest yoga gatherings in America, so you won’t want to miss out!

3.      Eastern Market: Although the building that housed the Eastern Market burned down in 2007, it is up and running again. I love shopping at Whole Foods, so I love shopping at the Eastern Market because it’s basically the mother ship of all food, flower, and craft stores. The prices are a little high for some items, but I feel like the experience makes the extra few dollars worth it. In the midst of the Capitol Hill and the fast paced life of D.C. life, it’s nice to step inside the newly redone building on the Eastern Market.

4.      Smithsonian Museums: I’m sure some of the Smithsonian Museum’s are on your list for places to visit while in town. My personal favorite is the Natural History Museum. It’s a girl’s must-see! Although usually really crowded, it’s definitely worth the wait to see the Hope Diamond. Don’t be fooled, though, there are so many different gems and pieces of jewelry to look at besides the Hope Diamond. For guys, there are plenty of dinosaurs and manly exhibits for you to wander in as your gals drool over what you can never afford to buy them

Enjoy Washington D.C., but don’t be too surprised when it takes you thirty minutes to go a meager few miles. Just be patient and try to take in the significance of the city. D.C. is where history is made, so try to be a little inspired!

If you want to reach me, I'd recommend you press here!!

Not Too Gaga for Gaga Anymore

You know when you’re talking about someone and your friend goes “Who’s that?” and then you start trying to think of those distinctive “identifiers” of that person? Like, “the girl who always wear cardigans” or “the guy who started the food fight”? Well, for probably a solid year, one of my “identifiers” was “the girl who is obsessed with Lady Gaga.”

It’s true. I was obsessed with Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga t-shirt? Check. Lady Gaga email list? Check. Lady Gaga ringtone? Check. Crying over my parents not buying Lady Gaga concert tickets (the first time around at least)? Check, check, and check. 

I’m a little embarrassed to disclose the fact that I did indeed cry (but I would not necessarily say “like a baby”, ahem) after my first failed attempt to ask my parents to buy me Lady Gaga tickets. I know I probably do sound like a spoiled brat right about now, but COME ON! Everyone has an obsession!! I know some of you would KILL (or maybe just cry like me) to meet your favorite Hogwarts student or go see your favorite musician perform, whoever that may be.

Now that I’m done defending myself from the evil, judging minds of my fellow Writing Center tutors (or maybe even other readers! If so, HELLO and please do tell me how you found our super popular blog!), I’m going to get back to the main point:

I was obsessed with Lady Gaga.

Please note the change in bold and italics from the word “obsessed” to the word “was.”

I know…you are just as shocked and sad as I am to be reading that sentence with the new change in emphasis.

The worst part is that this change in heart began very soon after I finally did attend her Monster Ball Tour concert at Verizon Center on Thursday, February 24^th, 2011 at 8 PM. (Yes, I may not be obsessed with her anymore, but I do still remember that date like it’s my birthday. Except I don’t even know what day of the week I was born on…woops.) Not because of the concert, because the concert was AMAZING (yes, so amazing that it deserved to be bolded, italicized, underlined, and capitalized), but because of her new image and music.

She went from being a unique, innovative, creative, avant-garde, controversial, fun kind of crazy…:

…to just plain CRAZY:

Please refrain from saying “I told you so,” “I knew it all along,” or “Took you long enough.” This is the unfortunate transformation of Lady Gaga from a talented, fresh artist who could make pop/dance music and actually could sing, write songs, and play an instrument, while standing up for real problems in the world and being totally out there just enough to get people talking but to also draw them in…to a gimmicky, overly analytical, egotistical, generic pop singer who tries MUCH too hard (as evidenced by the above photos) to stand out.

Gaga, you used to stand out for being DIFFERENT, but now you stand out for just being too WEIRD. But what’s worse than just your image going sour is that your music is too. Your music is what made people, like me, love you. People liked your music first, and then went along with whatever you wore or stood up for.

Mother Monster, I sincerely ask you to please refocus on your music (more of this and much less of this, please!). I’m sorry, but I just cannot stand the “Judas, Juda-ah-ah” part!! There are a million other components of your new songs and music videos that I could criticize, but that would take a series of blog posts (Hey! Not a bad idea….).

Lady Gaga: I may not be obsessed with you anymore, but I am still a loving Little Monster and have hope that this is just a bump in the road and you’ll come back and find yourself…and take my obsession back to me too. If you need help finding me, you can contact me here. 

All I need now is a title for this post...I GOT A TEXT.

Okay. I admit it; it’s Thursday night, and I’m just starting my blog. Sure, like any other high school student, I’ve fallen victim to procrastination. Yet, at this time of year, something else is happening. Changes are happening. No, they’re not the kind of changes that require those Me and My Body videos that teachers so awkwardly forced us to watch in elementary school. However, these changes do occur when you happen to hit a certain age, specifically Senior year. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about now. It’s the dreaded Senioritis.

You know a term is legitimate when it’s defined in Wikipedia. (Go ahead. Check.) However, “term” may not be a strong enough of a word to be assigned to this experience. Senioritis is a disease. It spreads throughout your body and consumes it, while simultaneously paralyzing your mind. (Frankly, this seems like a perfectly acceptable excuse for Seniors who do not have their homework on time.) Take me, for example. Normally, I’m a very academically oriented student, and I take pride in my work. Yet, at the moment, I’m failing AP Government and World Religions, while also having an “Incomplete” in AP Literature. In my defense, I have been afflicted with a persistent sinus infection, which led to me being absent for an entire week. Once I make up my work, I will be back to grades higher than ‘F’s. Sadly, it’s not as easy as it seems. Due to my serious case of Senioritis, my papers and I have had multiple staring contests, all of which I have lost on account of being distracted either by a text, or the temptation of surfing the Internet. (Curse you, YouTube!) 

                         

The recovery from Senioritis is long and arduous. It requires patience and determination, and while yes, I have been determined to catch up on my missed episodes of the ever so entertaining 16 and Pregnant, I am also determined to graduate. College is just around the corner, and I’d rather not receive a, “We’re sorry, but we changed our minds” letter from William & Mary.

                         

So, there you go. If you want to conquer Senioritis, think about how you don’t want your future to be living in a box. (My friend and I have been stuck in a box before. Trust me; it’s not fun.) With that said, I am quickly approaching 400 words, and am now celebrating my hard-earned victory over the aforementioned disease. For the next few days, all I have to do is study for an Islam test, shoot a photography assignment, create a World Religions visual, start on my PowerPoint for Capstone…

…Eh.

If you want to e-mail me, click here. I'll respond. Eventually.

Insert hair-related pun here.

Long hair was more than just a style to me.

It was a way of life.

No, just kidding. But in all seriousness, I can't even begin to fathom why I ever chose to have long hair. It's one of those things that you don't really begin to think about until you're over with, like being in a hurricane or committing arson.

I'm not going to lie about it anymore. I was aiming to adopt the image of a viking, getting ready to wage a deadly war against 11th century Britain.  Sadly, I didn't posses nearly enough facial hair, muscle, or throwing axes to successfully pass myself off as a viking. Long hair was as far as I was going, evidently.

Some people said I looked like a girl. Let me ask you, then; does this manly visage to the right side of your internet browser look anything like a girl to you?

I thought not. Maybe being a viking does lie entirely in the facial hair.

Seriously, now. I thought myself to be something I wasn't. I thought that long hair meant something else. I thought I looked like a valiant hero or a dreamy hunk with long blond locks flowing over my shoulders like a fuzzy scarf. I was told I looked a lot more like Cousin It than anything else.

In  the end, it was all about apathy. I wasn't striving to be different, I wasn't trying to set myself apart. It was simply because I didn't care. I didn't care what other people thought, I didn't care that I looked like a girl. And plus, my neck was pleasantly warm all year around.

The question still probably remains in your mind: Why did I decide to cut it? Why did I decide to throw away the years of waiting? The reason for cutting it was the exact same reason for not cutting it: I just didn't care. I really didn't care, after a point, what length my hair was at. I just decided I was ready for a change.

When I said I didn't care what my hair looked like just now, yeah. That was a lie. There was only one style I was vehemently opposed to: the buzz cut. I'm not ripping people with buzz cuts, but really, now. I don't want my head to look like a delightfully round slightly fuzzy peach. There's also the tendency for buzz cuts to appear predominantly on jocks. If you happen to be in the buzz cut minority, and you are, in fact, not a jock, I apologize, but unless you have some sort of fetish for peaches, there's no excuse.

Eventually, I decided that I just wanted a medium-length hair cut. I actually had no real measure of what medium was; I had not changed my hair style since elementary school, so long was long and that was it. I still don't know if my hair is short or medium, but I'm happy with it

. Although I no longer appear to be a viking, I'm more confident that I look at least a little bit more acceptable. After I came back to school post-haircut, I got compliments from people I didn't even know the name of. Girls just turned to me and said, "Nice haircut" or, "I like your hair." Girls. Real ones. I knew for a fact I did something right.

And that's why I'm still happy with my current hair. I may be a viking no longer, but I'm happy.

I can be contacted at thatmartykid@gmail.com. Don't expect me to reply, though. That's asking too much.