The Questionable Concept of "Being Yourself" In High School

“Just be yourself! Don’t worry about what other people think!”

A "be yourself" message from
one of those  "random social
media accounts" (in this case,
found on Pinterest)

The number of times I've had that phrase shoved in my face is probably larger than the number of times I've dyed my hair since entering high school, which is…several. It makes sense, of course; when I started my freshman year, I was timid and always trying to please others, wearing false eyelashes and far too much eyeliner daily. After about 2 months, I realized that I wasn't that person and I didn't have to look like what others expected. Since then, I've gone through several shades of red hair (now I’m onto blue) and I've realized that I’m not usually one to wear much make-up, despite protests and questioning from my siblings and peers.

In that span of 2 years or so, while contemplating my decisions to change up my style, I've been told by friends, family members, random social media accounts, and even myself to disregard others’ opinions and just “be myself.” In general, I've followed that advice, but recently I've realized some major flaws in applying it to everyday life—especially in high school. This expression’s repetition has rendered it effectively meaningless in certain situations and borderline harmful in others.

The Question of “Who Am I?”

It may seem silly to say that this little idiom could actually cause someone harm. Obviously, a few (positively intended) words aren't the only problem; this concept merely adds to the existing issues related to questioning and figuring out one’s identity, a prominent struggle in high school.

As we've been told time and again during bullying seminars and by kids’ television shows attempting to teach us how to be decent grown-ups (That’s So Raven, anyone?), many many people struggle with self-confidence issues. Mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and eating disorders manifest themselves as results of this self-consciousness, and are often closely linked with how teenagers perceive the attention we receive from peers.

Now, where does “being yourself” play into this? Simple. The motivation behind this advice is generally to encourage kids to express themselves how they see fit. In reality, such a confused and confusing phrase only confounds ideas of self-identity. We’re pushed to be our “true self” during a time when we have no real idea who that person is. As a 16-year-old, I have no clue how I’m going to turn out as an adult. I have a decent grasp on my character now, but even then, I’m often terrified of showing who I think that should be because—let’s face it—I could be wrong! I know I’m not the only one who feels this, and I can acknowledge that it’s a tad ridiculous to fear self-expression when people tell me that I should do what I want, but the judgment of less-accepting peers along with the gaping unknown of the future sort of takes the punch out of “being myself.”

I mentioned earlier that I often allow my physical appearance to be my form of self-expression, but doesn't “being yourself” also include your personality? Teenagers are just as likely to be judged for their actions as for their looks, and the fear of judgment and wrong assumptions (by oneself or one’s peers) is deepened when they’re expected to know and express who they “really are.”

The Statement of “This is Who I Am”

Somehow, the opposite problem exists as well. Contrasting the kids who want to stand out and even those who fear being one-of-a-kind appear those who are fine fading into the background, as well as those who exist in-between.

I’m all for doing things others may not approve of, whether it be dying your hair or wearing clothes that are often deemed outlandish or refusing to back down on your opinions. If that is who you are, then fine. Wonderful. But over and over, all I have seen in support of being oneself is in support of such (and I use this term with love) craziness; it’s as if the only way to “be yourself” is to be bold, bright-colored, and brazen. What about the others? Is the girl who’s perfectly content with her natural hair color and “average” outfit not being herself? Are the boys who enjoy lacrosse and wearing shorts in 20-degree weather (which, I’ll admit, is a questionable decision) still pining away in search of their true selves? While it could be argued that some of those seemingly “normal” kids just haven’t found exactly who they are yet—again, we don’t know—I would say no. Though their tastes may be “mainstream,” there’s no solid evidence saying that those kids aren't being true to who they are.

This is where the meaninglessness of the saying “just be yourself” comes into play. To some teenagers, this advice means nothing. They don’t need a push to show their “true colors” because they feel comfortable with the colors they’re sporting. Not to mention the kids who straddle both sides: the ones who dress or act differently than the norm, but are content to do so.

Me at various points during high school; my forms and ideas of self-expression have changed as the years progressed and I began to figure out who I think I want to be. Does the change mean that I wasn't myself before? Of course not! Maybe… I don’t know!

From left to right: September 2012, December 2012, July 2013, March 2014 (character day; I was dressed as the Basket Case from The Breakfast Club, so maybe not quite “self”-expression, but I do love it), December 2014, and March 2015 (forgive my selfies)

The Solution

The use of this slogan isn't a problem in itself, but it’s been so overused as to become burdensome to some and useless to others. The solution (for lack of a better word), then, is just to examine the motivations and meanings behind this advice. Also, maybe think of new advice.

And if I—or anyone else—continue to be unsure of how to express myself, so what? All we can do is what is best in the moment we live in now, and remember that “being yourself” shouldn't have to mean “be completely unlike anyone around you” or “decide your identity now.” It should simply mean sticking with who you think you are, or who you want to be, no matter what people think. 

Questions? Comments? Email me!

Block, Your Time Is Done

             Tick! Tock! Tick Tock!... the clock goes on and on and on. Can this class drag on any longer? My bottom hurts from sitting in this plastic chair. My back hurts from hunching over for such a long time. The sun has been shining through the window, into my eyes for what seems like an eternity! My mind cannot absorb another fact about World History. I have been in this class for 90 full minutes and every second has dragged on.

                                                           

                                                   Above is an image of the Block Schedule

                                                    at West Springfield High School (2015)

           

               In Northern Virginia, block scheduling has been implemented, rather than the basic 45 minute or hour long class. All over the country, high schools use different class schedules, but in Fairfax County, ‘Block’ is preferred. Block scheduling allows for four full periods to occur in each day  length approximately 90 minutes. Yikes! That’s a long time. I am so sick and tired of these 90 minute classes. Many teachers and administrators prefer the block schedule because it allows for more time in a certain class, to teach thorough lessons or perhaps complete a full lab of some sort, in the science department. A lab simply cannot be completed in a mere 40 minutes!

           In certain situations, block scheduling makes sense. However, a block schedule definitely has its drawbacks. The teen brain can only hold an attention span for soooo long. Forty minutes of Calculus- EASY….. 90 minutes- get me outttta here!!! Even teachers admit to losing their focus after a good chunk of time in class and need a break to sit down for a minute or so. So which schedule is better for the students when the ultimate goal is to learn new information? I believe the block schedule has had a chance and now we all need a change.

           Experiencing forty minute classes in Middle School allowed for a faster paced atmosphere while in school. Block scheduling only allows 3 classroom switches a day as opposed to 6! Personally, having the mindset of, “I will be out of here in 39 minutes” allows me to focus better in class and on the material. Attention spans, especially for seniors, are limited. I believe there should be a class every day that is 90 minutes, but that period can alternate? Allowing for every teacher to receive their chance of having a block schedule with every student. I think this is a fair alternative. So if the dreaded labs do need to be completed… they can be. This schedule style would allow students to experience a fast paced day of school. Please, I’d like to know what you think. E-mail me your responses and ideas at: fclinkenbeard@gmail.com! Check out more on the School Schedule debate at http://www.nassp.org/Content.aspx?topic=57198. 

Santa?!

When I sit down and think about it, it really disturbs me to think about the image of Santa Claus.  Not that I find him scary or offensive, but he is simply not representative of Saint Nicholas of Myra, off of whom he is based.  We started off with the coolest bishop who ever lived (mainly because he literally beat the crap out of Aryanism), but he somehow ended up as a big bowl of jelly who sits around making toys all day. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Well, regardless of what he is (or what he was), one idea very near and dear to my heart arose from our dear friend to the North: the Santa Claus Effect.  Similar to the ideas in the movie The Santa Claus, starring Tim Allen, the Santa Claus Effect attempts to examine the changes that occur in Freshman-through-Senior organizations.

When freshman first enter high school, everything seems fresh to them: more challenging classes, more daunting social routines, and afterschool activities.  The latter is where Santa lives: the seniors, with three years of experience and knowledge.  These new freshman, in all their eagerness, are massively off-putting to their elders and are seldom accepted into their respective groups right away, whether it be track, band, football, or the anime club.  Even so, the freshmen still try to model themselves after the visibly popular seniors.  After all, they are the most skilled, and if you act like them, won’t everything else follow suit?

When Sophomore Year rolls around, things begin to change.  The “Santas” that led them through their first steps into high school are gone, the ones who showed them where all their rooms were, told them when they were acting stupid, and helped them get better at running/throwing footballs/playing sonatas, and it feels as though something is missing, and doubt fills their minds.  It’s akin to the feeling of sneaking downstairs and seeing your parents eat the cookies you set out for Santa: you wonder if he was ever there at all (or, in this case, if they were even that good at what they did).  Just in case, they start buying gifts for their friends, in case he did ditch them.

Still, there is a newfound acceptance from the now juniors and seniors, one both unexpected and pleasant.  Now able to safely navigate the halls without Chris Cringle, they find themselves enjoying their newfound freedom.

When Junior Year comes to pass, it is very apparent that Santa was a phantom of the imagination: they set out the presents for your younger siblings, a large portion of them you bought with the money from their summer job, and they keep most of the cookies for yourself.  Maybe even you start to wear the Santa suit around town, mocking the thought that they ever believed in Santa at all. 

For the first time in their career as high schoolers, the juniors realize why they were so dejected as freshman: there is a massive amount of work to be done!  A boatload of AP courses, college essays to write, long-term relationships that eat up ALL of their time, making toys (wait, making toys?) and a bunch of other things.  Under stress, though, they perform, they excel even, and it does not go unnoticed: the freshman in their organizations can tell that they really know what they’re doing, and they begin to ask for directions, for help with their geometry homework, and even watch when they’re doing some extra practicing. 

Finally, when Senior Year comes around, the Seniors have grown rotund, their cheeks rosy, and know everything there is to know about the holiday season; they have become Santa Claus, with all the rights and responsibilities that it entails.  They are out recruiting new freshman for their organization, pushing the people around them to their limits, and, most importantly, setting the example for the Freshman.

While they thought going into the year they would be breezing by, the workshop is in full gear.  Not only do they have to take care of their own homework, they have to do college applications, college visits, apply for scholarships, grow a beard (yes, grow a beard), and provide leadership to the people younger than them.

So perhaps Santa isn’t so ridiculous after all.

 

Do you think Santa’s fake?  Are you the Christmas Hero of your school organization? Let me know:

Matt45luvdr@gmail.com

 

Behind the Scenes of a Tutoring Session

There’s more to tutoring than it might seem. From the outside looking in, an observer might see an academic helper making sure a student did not get too off track in their courses. However, sessions are made meaningful not only by the information given from the tutor to the tutee, but also how it affects the student’s motivation, provides them with someone to talk to, and gives them confidence that will carry through the rest of their lives after many tutoring sessions.

Motivation

The conferences affect student’s motivation to do their work. When they work through an assignment with help from a tutor, it is going to seem a lot easier and more feasible than if they look at it alone. Have you ever sat down to do some work, looked at it, and thought “ I just can’t do this” to yourself? Does it feel like too much? You might be experiencing emotional exhaustion and lack of concentration, or just have too many other things on your mind. A tutor being there to help you focus can make it much easier to get through that work. They can remind you of ways to do your work that you may have forgotten and bring you back to the task if your attention slips.

Friendship

Some students struggle not only academically, but emotionally. They may not find making friends the easiest thing to do, or just have always had trouble talking to people due to shyness or something else blocking their way. However, a tutor is someone who’s going to be there for the tutee no matter what, and if the tutee can feel comfortable around the tutor and want to get to know them, they can become friends. Building a relationship is one of the many perks of one on one tutoring. Because there’s a lot of time where there is a back and forth conversation, it makes it a lot easier for the exchanging of ideas as well as the sharing of personalities needed to build a friendship to happen.

Confidence

A tutoring session can give a student the boost they need to see their potential being reached. With everything they’re learning, they will start to notice a difference in themselves. They’ll also learn that they can take in information in their own way and on their own time which will give them the confidence they need to always put forth their best effort and not fear a negative outcome as much.

Any questions or inquiries? I’ll answer them here.

The Daily Moments of High School

As a junior in high school I have begun to notice the daily awkward and annoying problems that take place in school. For instance just today I was walking in the hall at a normal pace like I usually do and of course I get stuck behind the slowest person in the world. He was walking at the pace of a snail stuck in molasses and of course every time I tried to walk around him there were people coming from the other direction and I was stuck behind him taking one tiny microscopic step at a time as I waited for him to move forward. I feel like this is a  problem that every student faces in high school and as irritating as it is it happens every day, all the time. Another daily annoyance that is very similar to this is when I'm stuck behind a couple. Not only am I stuck involuntarily watching what seems like a dramatic romance movie in front of me, but, I again cannot get around them. When a couple is constantly together and they are holding hands it is extremely hard to get around them because obviously I can't go through them and they are holding hands just far enough that I can't go around them on either side. I'm all for romance and I'm a pretty sensitive person myself but maybe school is not the place to cling to your partner and disrupt the flow of hallway traffic. Going out of the hallway, let's take a moment to recognize some awkward moments in the classroom. Everyone goes through that moment where their eyes glaze over and they are gazing into what seems like space when actually they are straight staring at a person. This moment is always really awkward and I have been victim to it on multiple occasions. The hardest part of that situation is when you see that person later in the day and accidentally make eye contact with them again which makes things even more awkward between you two. And let's not forget that moment when you are waving to your friend and of course they don't see you so it just looks like you are waving to a wall. Honestly I don't think high school would even be high school without these small daily annoyances and moments. Because if you really think about it, you will never remember that math test you took or the biology lab you conducted but you will remember the things that affected you each and every day and sometimes they might seem unbearable but one day we will all look back and smile at those small moments of awkwardness and we will shrug off the embarrassing moments and  laugh at all the annoying times that we went through. The truth is everybody goes through this and everyone feels the same way; so if these things happen, laugh about it and hopefully if you're like me you're a junior and only have to endure these moments for one more year!

Here are some images that illustrate some of the moments listed above. Enjoy!

If you want to find more of these funny posts go to http://www.funnyquotesbook.com/ 

Test Taking: The Heart of Our Living Nightmares and Ways to Face Them

This is the sight we get to see for 1-3 hours when we face the arduous 

task of taking a test.

If you ask any junior or senior in High school what one thing they hate most about the final ventures towards heading to college, the most common answer would tests. Juniors and Seniors are faced with test after test after test and it just never seems to end.

This topic is being brought up because as the 2012-2013 school year is coming to a close, AP Exams are starting to take place. As most students know, AP Exams are college courses that require a large and taxing exam to be taken at the end of the year, and if a good enough score is reached than that student may be able to opt out of that specific class in the college they attend. So yeah, these exams are a big deal. However, at the same time, many students (Juniors mostly) are also taking their SAT's, ACT's, SAT Subject Tests, and any other application or test related requirements they may have. Overall, the end of the school year is filled with testing, testing, testing, and then some more testing. 

I personally have my AP Lang Exam coming up this week and an APUSH Exam next week, along with an SAT on June 1, and I haven't even signed up for any ACT or SAT Subjects Tests yet, so I still have those to look forward to. I am sure that other Juniors feel my pain when it comes to all the things we must do in the next couple months before senior year gets up and running. Some people may deal with test taking better than others, but for the most part they are incredibly stressful and lead to the factors we all know so well: lack of sleep, over eating (or under eating), and near mental breakdowns at the sheer thought of all the things needed to be done. 

This is the expression we are all familiar
with, the "Ugh, what is going on?" face.

During times like these, we all try to find ways to deal with the said stress and difficulty testing brings into our lives. Some people take unique methods of loosening their tensions, but there are some more conventional ways that do help the majority of people loosen the grasps of the stress from school. I will list things that I have found to help me, but other sources do say similar things such as the one here.

But nevertheless, here are 3 tips/ways I have found to be helpful in dealing with the absolute nightmare of test taking.

1. Talk to your teacher - I am always surprised at the sheer amount of people who let this idea blow over them. Your teachers are there to help you, so let them help you. If you feel seriously unprepared for an exam or test, then ask your teacher for some extra help to clear up any uncertainties you have, and who knows, you may even be able to get an extension. Your teachers are people too and can totally understand if you feel stressed out about something in their class, so don't feel ashamed to ask them about it.

2. Relax - This one seems redundant, but im serious when I say all you need to do is stop freaking yourself out. You may be thinking, "Well, if I could do that then this wouldn't be a problem?", and you're right, it wouldn't be a problem, which is why you need to relax. If it's listening to music, watching your favorite show on Netflix, or playing some good ole' video games, whatever you need to do to take your mind off that dreaded test is what needs to be done. Over thinking and psyching yourself out about it can be the ultimate downfall for some people. 

3. Have confidence - This one may be hard because tests and school in general are so emotionally and mentally draining, but ultimately, having confidence when going into a test makes all the difference. If you think you are going to fail, then you're going to take the test knowing you're going to fail, a mindset which doesn't help out a whole lot. If you tell yourself, "I will beat that test", even if you may be totally unprepared, you will take it with a stronger mindset. And anyways, for the most part, the worst thing that could happen is you don't get a good score (and you can retake SAT's and ACT's as much as you want). Way too many people do not have enough faith in themselves to face these kinds of things. You are undoubtedly smart enough and don't let any person, test, or aspect of society tell you otherwise. Think it and you will do it. 

I hope these three points helped you make some sort of realization about something you need to change to help yourself with any upcoming tests or anything that you are worried about. Again, the website here probably compiles better tips, but these are the three things I have compiled through my own experiences to help myself through these trying times. 

If you have any tips of your own that you wish to aid in the benefit towards preserving other people's mental health, email me at jackdominick@gmail.com, or just leave a comment with anything you wish to say.

Thank you for reading and I wish you well on all your future endeavors,

-Jack

How to: Stop Being a Mean Girl

                                                            How to: Stop Being a Mean Girl

 

Hopefully, we’ve all seen the hilarious Mean Girls movie where Lindsey Lohan plays a high school student who befriends the notorious “mean girls” (aka plastics) at her school. While this was just a movie, high schools across the nation are still filled with girls who seem to think that being mean is the right way to make friends. It has come to my attention that many teenage girls these days have the inability to keep friendships because of their attitudes and cold personalities. While being a “mean girl” may get you attention in high school, it will only cause you problems in the real world. To see what happens when mean girls grow up, click here. This is why I have decided to list a few steps that you can take which will turn you into a good friend who is genuine, kind, and trustworthy.

1.       Be kind. Friendships are filled with sarcasm, jokes, and laughter. This is what makes them so enjoyable. “Mean girls”, however, will take this one step further and constantly make rude and nasty remarks or comments on their so-called friends, and quickly cover them up by saying “just kidding”. It is important to know not to fall for this crap. While making fun of each other is harmless, vicious words are not ok and can cause real damage. Why would you want to hurt your friend’s feelings?  

2.       Be someone others can trust. Real friendships are based on trust. If your friend feels that she can’t tell you things without worrying that you’ll blab on about it to other people, then you’re probably not real friends.

3.       Be there for your friend. Everyone needs someone that they can count on when times get hard. If your friend is having a crisis, BE THERE FOR HER. Help her with what she’s going through, offer comforting advice, drive her cat to the vet when it swallows rat poison, the list can go on and on. There’s always something you can do to make your friend’s crisis better. And if you really can’t think of any way to help, then simply listen to her and be a shoulder to cry on! You would want her to do the same for you.        

4.       NEVER talk bad about your friend behind her back. This should be obvious. If you are gossiping about someone and saying hateful things about her to others, then you obviously don’t like her. Remind me again, why are you still pretending to be her friend?   

5.       Let your guard down. No one wants to be friends with an unemotional robot who never shares her feelings. When your friend tells you important things about her life, it’s ok to show a little emotion. Tell her about your opinions, if you’re sad or excited about something, or important events in your life.  If you don’t share things about yourself, then your friend won’t feel the need to share things with you.

Hopefully, you will take these steps to become a better person and friend. If you’re still happy with being a cold and mean person, then good luck in college honey because no one is going to deal with your crap anymore!   

If you have any questions email me here. 

 

Life at WSHS: Awkward Huggers (Katie Carter)

AWKWARD HUGGERS (noun): the epidemic taking over West Springfield High School in which young couples seem to embrace and touch each other without a single thought as to how to do it properly (there’s a rule book)

Since I have spent the past four years at my life at West Springfield High School, I consider myself an expert on this topic. Awkward hugging encompasses a wide range of human contact: hugs between a girl and her not-so-close guy friend when he pulls her in and won’t let her go, the strangely tall boy trying to keep his hand on the waist of his strangely short girlfriend while walking through the hallway, the tight-locked hand hold of new couples, hugging with backpacks on in any case, gazing in each other’s eyes while only three inches away from the other person’s face, unneeded PDA in front of a teacher (move down five lockers, please), and the gag-worthy site of a deep tissue massage taking place while the girl is in the middle of a conversation with her friends! The online comic website "The Oatmeal," agrees with me in its publication of "The 6 Types of Crappy Hugs."

The phenomenon of awkward hugging and random touching is nothing new and it certainly doesn’t seem to get better as the couples move up a grade. At first, I passed it off merely as an act of immaturity in which a young teen just desperately wants to express his or her love towards his or her boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe they do it to look cool. Must. Walk. Like. Robots. Boy was I WRONG. It seems to be inherently installed in the brains of these young people, prohibiting them from realizing their tragic mistakes. They are just awkward people! I guess I just can’t understand because I’ve never been awkward. Shy maybe, but never weird. The way that a teenager acts seems to stem from genetics. And I know all of you bio-people out there are saying, “Yes, Katie, good job, Katie,” but I’ve just now come to this epiphany. It’s true! Some of you may be asking then why am I even ranting about this awkward hugging situation if it can’t be fixed? I would just simply like to inform my readers of the daily hardships that I, as a student of West Springfield, must endure day after day. And with less than 25 days left until I am out of here, what better time? My disgust at the displays of awkward affection will stick with me until something else burns my eyes out routinely, without fail. So good luck to all of you underclassmen, I’m out of here!

P.S. If you like my blog and want to hear more, email me!!