"Why Can't We Be Friends?"

In the immortal lyrics by War, “why can’t we be friends?" We as humans are naturally social and depend on one another to survive. So, why is it so hard to keep a friendship alive? Is it that we suddenly recognize their faults and are too incapable or stubborn to look past this occurrence, or is it us? Is it that we always find a way, especially as teenagers, to use our hormonal behavior and desires to drive others apart from us? Is the greed and jealousy and insecurity fueling our hateful fire? Is it that we were blind to the faults in front of us, as we wished to believe in true companionship? Or is it them?

 It’s the classic scenario: we meet someone, we fall in love with their charm, and suddenly the “it” factor is masked by the fact that they dominate every conversation, or only talk about three different subjects, or can’t have a talk without butting in their overly biased, personal opinion. What gives? How did this go downhill so fast?

 And you can’t help but feel like a horrible person when all of a sudden, this person you raved about and shared so much with is now your enemy. You can’t stand to hear them or look at them and suddenly, every action they do pisses you off to no end. You can’t help it. That’s the point. We can’t change or apologize for how we feel; we can only alter the way we present ourselves and act around this person. But, does this mean the friendship is over?

In a sense, the friendship and relationship you once had is irrevocably changed forever, and nothing can be done to revive this once strong bond between friends. You go along with your life, at first with distance, later with little shameful and shy waves of hello completely countering the enormous bear hugs you used to give one another. Then, in the final stage, you are strangers. You pass eachother in the hall or at a store and act as if the intimate and passionate relationship you once shared never occurred. Vansihed. 

How are we supposed to deal with this? It seems as if this empty space stings more than the relationship. We try to justify it, saying it was their fault or ours, or that it was somehow better to end the interaction. But logic and reasoning cant justify the feeling of having nothing to do on a Saturday night. It can’t help with the pain of watching your groups take sides between once close partners.

Could it have been prevented? Could I have done more? Could they have tried harder to control their behaviors, or should I have tried harder to look past them? Who is to blame, and how can we stop this horrible event from tainting future endeavors to a harmonious and happy social life?