Coffee Break; Think Australia

Let’s talk about the fact that this may be one of the only assignments this year that I could really enjoy and pour my heart into and even this simple blog post has become victim to my ramped procrastination. Actually let’s not, because that has absolutely no appeal to me nor do I believe it will have any appeal to you.

                Picture with me instead of being in a dull classroom with a clock slowing down to a crawl and glaring fluorescent lights, being across the Pacific, half a day away even by the fastest plane. Welcome to upside down ‘merica, land of the ‘roo and croc and inventor of Ugg. Welcome to Aussie land, down under, Oz, Australia.          
Allow me to make a note, I see myself as having a fair amount of license to tease Australia because I am a citizen. But like a sibling, just because I make fun, doesn’t mean you’re allowed to. It’s still my country and I’m proud of it. I digress, the first sense to experience the foreign nature of the Aussies are your ears. That accent, welcoming and sincere hits you with a smile. The entire country has forgotten about the “r” at the end of car, the “ood” in the middle of good day, and the standoffish protocol necessary when meeting someone new. Don’t be alarmed if they ask you about where you are going ‘to die’ they mean "to-day." Additionally, if you find yourself at one on of their sporting events, and a particularly loud and drunk man cries out “AUSSIE, AUSSIE, AUSSIE” the correct respond is and cheer of “Oi! Oi! Oi!” Don’t ask me why.

                After you become accustom to the real life “H₂O” accents you can take in the colours (the dear Australians don’t want to hurt the u’s feelings and tell it that it’s pointless of this land. Make sure to have a good laugh over the currencies odd colors which sport unpleasant yellows paired with unflattering blues, or not-cute purples, and even greens that don’t sit right. Unfortunately if you have skin anything like mine those chuckles will soon be quieted by the fact that all these people have midwinter tans much more impressive than the one you worked all summer to gain. In any urban center you will recognize something that feels familiar but off. Almost New York style taxi’s swarm in the usual way but they are softer in color. New York’s vivid yellow is mellowed down into a color appropriate for a new baby’s room.          

                Not to mention the tastes in Australia, “‘roo on the barbie” really does mean kangaroo on the barbecue  Those terrifying sharks once on your plate are affectionately called ‘flake’. At least, as barbaric as it sounds, those meals taste good. It astounds me that the locals actually like the bitter salty aftertaste of Vegemite or crave more after the almost sugarless deserts.

                I won’t go into teasing their politics, perhaps because I like them a lot. It does say something about a government though when my careful grandmother, after traveling to Australia for my parents wedding, received a ticket in America sent all the way from the other side of the world, for being slightly 5 mph over the speed limit.    

                While I do thoroughly enjoy poking fun at my country far away, there are far more good things to say about it then bad. Warm accents are paired with consistent grammar appreciation. Wildlife not only of the outback, but right outside every door is more spectacular and better preserved then anything we have allowed to survive in the States. Birds with voices more beautiful than any woodwind and colors more vivid than any Broadway sign fill the trees and air. Food and hospitality could not be better. Coffee brewers from around the world travel to Melbourne to perfect their trade. In the Australian capital, Canberra, one can breathe in deep without a brain cell lost or foul smell inhaled. It’s a beautiful place with beautiful people and beautiful sights.

If you’re interested in learning more click here for Australia's travel website.
Furthermore feel free to email me about an Australian experience or question you had.