AWKWARD HUGGERS (noun): the epidemic taking over West Springfield High School in which young couples seem to embrace and touch each other without a single thought as to how to do it properly (there’s a rule book)
Since I have spent the past four years at my life at West Springfield High School, I consider myself an expert on this topic. Awkward hugging encompasses a wide range of human contact: hugs between a girl and her not-so-close guy friend when he pulls her in and won’t let her go, the strangely tall boy trying to keep his hand on the waist of his strangely short girlfriend while walking through the hallway, the tight-locked hand hold of new couples, hugging with backpacks on in any case, gazing in each other’s eyes while only three inches away from the other person’s face, unneeded PDA in front of a teacher (move down five lockers, please), and the gag-worthy site of a deep tissue massage taking place while the girl is in the middle of a conversation with her friends! The online comic website "The Oatmeal," agrees with me in its publication of "The 6 Types of Crappy Hugs."
The phenomenon of awkward hugging and random touching is nothing new and it certainly doesn’t seem to get better as the couples move up a grade. At first, I passed it off merely as an act of immaturity in which a young teen just desperately wants to express his or her love towards his or her boyfriend/girlfriend. Maybe they do it to look cool. Must. Walk. Like. Robots. Boy was I WRONG. It seems to be inherently installed in the brains of these young people, prohibiting them from realizing their tragic mistakes. They are just awkward people! I guess I just can’t understand because I’ve never been awkward. Shy maybe, but never weird. The way that a teenager acts seems to stem from genetics. And I know all of you bio-people out there are saying, “Yes, Katie, good job, Katie,” but I’ve just now come to this epiphany. It’s true! Some of you may be asking then why am I even ranting about this awkward hugging situation if it can’t be fixed? I would just simply like to inform my readers of the daily hardships that I, as a student of West Springfield, must endure day after day. And with less than 25 days left until I am out of here, what better time? My disgust at the displays of awkward affection will stick with me until something else burns my eyes out routinely, without fail. So good luck to all of you underclassmen, I’m out of here!
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This is so true! Not only is this a humorous piece, but it is so well written! Your voice is strong and distinct.
ReplyDeleteWe think the same thing! It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable when I see couples do this in the halls so I really think they should read your blog in order to see how they affect people!
ReplyDelete-Sara Carter
Soooo true! These couples are so obnoxious... and I loved the oatmeal link, it's spot on. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHannah
I laughed while reading this whole thing because I can hear you talking about it. In fact, we talk about this all the time. And I think we're the problem Katie. The affections we think are normal...are anything but. Why do blue lockers and stuffy hallways fail to turn us on?! We're broken lovers.
ReplyDelete^^ From Mary duh
ReplyDeleteThe Oatmeal link is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. Good voice, Katie!
ReplyDelete