Master the Art of Sassiness

Hello fellow writing tutors and other internet users,

So I'm supposed to write a blog about tutoring, mentoring, or writing. I decided that I was going to write about the heartfelt relationships I have created through tutoring. Then I went to a person whom I highly respect, and I asked her for her opinion. She DEMOLISHED the idea (kindly of course…just in case she is reading this).

 Anyway, I felt her implying that I was not a heartfelt person…which  is kind of true. I am not sincere in any possible way. I actually have this expression on my face most of the time.

 

Again, I digress.  Long story short, this person advised me to channel my sassiness and teach some poor, innocent souls how to  write sassily (God, I love that word).

I swear, I was going to slap her silly, but then I thought about it… I remembered an eHow page.  You see, I search some of the weirdest things. At one point I read an article on “How to breath” (it’s in and out by the way), which led me to search “How to be sassy.” Let me warn you, DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE IN THE PRESENCE OF OTHERS! ( I hope you have some common sense) I made this tragic mistake while writing this. A mighty fine girl named Kateri shouted “Are you reading an article on “How to be sassy?”” in the middle of the Writing Center.  I will not describe the looks I received because that would be publicly humiliating.

So now let’s get to the actual purpose of this blog. Let’s get to writing with sassiness! ( Is  my excitement exuding from the computer?)  I am by the way, a much better source than eHow. Don’t believe me? Read at your own risk).

 So the main thing is to create a distinct voice and style:

 You have to be conversational with your writing. Needless to say, don’t be sassy while writing a formal paper, but for college essays and other creative types of writing, channel your inner sassiness. You also need to create your own spicy (yes, I am of the minority who still says spicy), sassy style.

 You see how I use a lot of parenthesis? It may get annoying after a while, and your teachers might hate it if you don’t use them correctly. ( I love how I’m saying this with the upmost certainty that I am using the perfectly- I am by the way; I’m a humble writing tutor). If parentheses aren’t your thing, manipulate other types of punctuation or syntax.  Use dashes, colons, parenthesis, or other punctuations that you wouldn’t normally use. Capitalize words that you want to emphasize.  You also want to create  conversational, create a cheeky, witty, or cocky tone.

How can you do that?

Play with sentence length. Short sentences can pack a punch or give a punch line. Use complex sentences to convey a dramatic tone. Just make sure that you don’t make your sentences to be of the same length. That makes for a monotonous and extremely boring piece of writing.

So I gave you some tips, but I can’t give you a step by step procedure on how to be sassy. It doesn’t work that way, God knows how EHow managed to do that. The best advice I can give you is to read books written by sassy authors (Joan Didion is a good one) , or watch and read satire pieces. Satire often times includes sassiness. Observing experts on sassiness, and watching them incorporate in to their writing will give you ideas on how to incorporate it in your writing.

Here is a book that includes some examples and tips on sassy writing. I haven’t read it yet, because honestly, do you think I need help being sassy? ( Once again, I am displaying my humble nature). Honestly though, I will be reading it soon.

That’s it. I hope you were able to absorb some sassiness. Hopefully, you'll be able to say:

  If you have any more questions or want to show off your sassiness, email me!