My Job, My Utterly Painful Job

 My Job, My Utterly Painful Job 

            “I love my job,”

“I really like the environment here,”

“I enjoy cleaning bathrooms and sweeping rugs,”

“I am ecstatic about work every day,”

“I think the customers are the best part,” said absolutely no server ever.

Among all the things I listed that waiters and waitresses will not tell you, the most accurate is the last one. I, being a waitress myself, can fake it till I make it in the restaurant. I smile so unbelievably wide and portray the image of a happy person when I’m doing things such as rolling silverware, washing the hand sinks, cleaning the food/beverage trays, replacing the chips and salsa every few minutes, and much more. But that’s where the lie starts and stops, because I am incapable of being enthusiastic when faced with a horrible customer. Here below are some of the most common kinds of atrocious customers I have to deal with.

Types of Customers

1.      The Loose Goose: This is the kind of customer that has me on my toes the entire time they are here, for they are the uncontrollable alcoholics. It’s usually two girls who just turned 21, wrongly thinking they know how to handle their liquor, although, the people generally range. The other day, these two relatively young women ordered two margaritas as well as two Miller Lites. Naturally, I was confused but it wasn’t my place to ask them why. Two minutes had easily passed before I came out with their four beverages. That was when I had realized what the double drinks were for. You wouldn’t believe it if I told you, but they had begun to mix their margaritas and Miller Lites together. Admire my restraint from letting my jaw drop to the floor. And you would think that would be enough, but nope. I ended up bringing them three more margaritas and Miller Lites before I had to tell them no. Fortunately, they did not argue or get upset. Granted, they WERE incoherent.

 

2.      The Windshield Wiper: These are the customers who change what they’re about every 2 seconds. It is, without a doubt, the most difficult thing to work with.

Me: Can I start you off with anything to drink?

Customer: Oh, yes. I would like an iced tea, please.

Me: Alright, I’ll be right out with that.

*brings back iced tea*

Customer: Oh, I’m sorry hun. Is it okay if I get a Dr. Pepper instead?

Me: Of course, I’ll be right out with that.

*goes through tedious process of fixing everything on the computer*

Me: *handing back the Dr. Pepper* Alright I have one Dr. Pep-

Customer: Actually, I believe I’m going to stick with the iced tea. But thank you!

Unfortunately, this part is only the beginning of their ongoing torment. I am yet to ask for their order, but since I knew how indecisive they were, I gave them a little extra time.

Me: Are you ready to order?

Customer: Yes! I would like the chicken tacos please.

Me: Alright, I’ll get your menu out of the way fo-

Customer: Actually…

And believe it or not, they had changed their order at least three times that night. On top of that, they sometimes wanted extra salsa, but then decided on sour cream instead. Then, they half wanted dessert, half didn’t. When I brought out their ice cream, they chose a churro instead. I kid you not, people like this are well and alive. However, and luckily enough, these kinds of customers are fairly rare. Thank God.

 

3.      The Chatterbox: To take a break from all the terrible people, here, we have my favorite kind of customer; the one who makes my job a little less crappy. I’ve learned that working at a restaurant requires a lot of walking, cleaning, and serving, however, not much communication. So sometimes, when I get a couple of chatterboxes, I am able to take part in conversation that I had wanted my entire shift. The other day, a man told me about how he was getting laid off, so he was going to enjoy one last meal at his favorite restaurant before he had to save up. We went on to talk about his college major and even tried to come up with a plan for what he’ll do next. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve learned more about him in 45 minutes than I did about my coworkers in several weeks.

4.      The VIP Wannabe: Lord help me if I have to deal with one of these people. It will surprise you, the nerve of some people. The other day, a well-dressed, professional man walked in with his three year old daughter and said he wanted our nicest table, as well as our best high chair. Okay, fine. Pretty stupid, but fine. We did try to get him one of the more decent booths and a less torn up high chair. Whatever, not that big of a deal. But once you seat them, they let you know of their importance. This man told me that he was the president of some big company and that he wants our fanciest wine. How the heck should I know the difference between crap wine and amazing wine? When I had asked him to specify, he had sort of scoffed like “wow, this 18 year old doesn’t know crap about wine, how dare she?” It was literally just that the entire night. Him, giving me attitude and me, suffering.  

5.      Negative Nancy: We all know about Nancy, and we all know that she sucks. She strolls into the restaurant, gives you one look, and then you know. This is Nancy, and she is about to let her inner Satan loose. So right from jump, the chips are too dry and the salsa is too spicy. Oh no, looks like the table isn’t spotless. Unfortunately, it is too cold. These are only few of the many complaints I hear in the beginning only. It’s usually when I bring out their food, that they erupt. And I don’t hear the end of it either! I mean, it isn’t my fault that your burrito doesn’t have ENOUGH cheese on top. Or that you didn’t get as much sour cream as you had anticipated. And right when you think you get rid of them, they decide to leave you an amazing tip. And I’m not talking a money tip, I’m talking “get a nicer pen, this one is weak” kind of tip. Cheers to the good hearted Nancy.

If you have any questions, comments, or concerns about my health and well being, you can just shoot me an email (-: